remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
