you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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