I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
