Already got asked if we're dating
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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