Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
