i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
