she woke up with a sticky ear
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
