so that wasnt chicken after all
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
