I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
