yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
