Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
