Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize