I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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