Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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