Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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