Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
