He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
