He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
