Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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