She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
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MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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