you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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