You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
