she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
