Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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