Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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