Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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