This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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