Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
