White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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