Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
