got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
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This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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