Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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