I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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