and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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