mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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