So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
