my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
