i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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