After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
