I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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