I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
