Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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