actually, I'm a sock model
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
