omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
