Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
