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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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