so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
