Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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