she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
