Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize