You really coming over, don't trick.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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