Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
