I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize