it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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