Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
