what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
