Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
