Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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