Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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